Friday, June 10, 2011

Marrying your baby daddy/mummy

This has just turned to be a common trait all around the world. At least in my country most couples get married after having kids or when they are expecting. And all this time I have been wondering how does this happen and why is it that way? But one of my friends once told me "wanaogopa kuuziwa mbuzi kwenye gunia" meaning they want to confirm that none of them is impotent. I laughed about the matter but at some point I felt it might be true.

But another question pops into my mind isn't marriage meant to be for better and for worse and that inclusive? Anyway it doesn't matter all I want to share with you today is this article I found as I was searching for answers to my so many questions in relation to this topic.

These days more couples are having children before they walk down the aisle. Whether you agree with it or not, it’s still a beautiful thing when they finally take the leap. But there’s some profane feeling that after you have kids marriage is no longer relevant. Somehow the kids become the only priority. However, shouldn't the priority be the relationship? Because without a solid relationship between the couple that is legalized, sound, and court and community approved (aka marriage licensed), anything can happen. A happy mommy and daddy make a happy baby.

While doing Marry Your Baby Daddy Day™, many women have told me they felt their relationships were still missing something after the children. They didn’t leave the dream alone. They set their foot down and instead of hoping to get married, they expected it. They no longer settled for being strung along by their indecisive partners.

There’s still life after kids. Below are some ways you can make sure you still walk down the aisle with a smile:

1) Discuss family planning with your partner before the baby arrives. When will you get married? Set a date.

2) Get any legal matters handled to protect you, the property and child should the father unexpectedly die or become ill. In most cases, if you are not married, his mother/family is considered next of kin and they can takeover. Check your state laws.

3) Communicate with your man in a nonverbal way what you expect. Come up with a plan on how to get there. Do not set ultimatums, but be creative.

4) Begin shopping for rings and wedding options together. Fake it till you make it.

5) Research all the financial and legal benefits to being married. In some instances there are tax advantages, and home financing options not as easily available to singles.

If your relationship is ready for a baby, it is ready for marriage. Every home needs a good foundation. Check out my online community of moms turning into wives at

- by

Maryann Reid

The opinions in this blog post are exclusively those of the author. Maryann Reid is the author of several novels, a contributor to major publications such as Glamour, Black Enterprise, etc., and a regular tv/radio social commentator.

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